The Same Air
April 25, 2010
I can feel my body changing. Slowly unraveling like buds on the cherry blossom trees do in springtime. I have no visible six pack of abs and my arms are not so cut that they rip through the sleeves of my t-shirt, but my body is changing. Slowly I can feel it waking up. There have been moments on this 30 day challenge where my body has ached, and where my mind sagging and heavy with want of sleep, has tried to convince me to stay off my mat. On Monday night in the grips of a cold I spent class in child’s pose. There was a part of me that wanted to fight. To push through, to power onward. Instead, I surrendered. And in surrendering, like leaves do as they fall from the trees in autumn, I heard what my body was saying. Be gentle with yourself, it whispered. And so I was.
The next day, feeling strong again I got back to the top of the mat and began anew. As my body made its way into dancers pose, my supporting leg began to quiver. “Give up!” a part of me cried, but my body called “Now is the time to be determined.” And so I was.
My body is changing and as it changes I can feel that slowly, other parts of myself that have lain dormant begin to unfurl. As my hips open, so to does my heart. Each muscle, each vein, each breathe is connected. There is a give and a take. An inhale, an exhale. A strengthening, and a release.
In class yesterday the instructor Sjanie spoke of how we do not do yoga for ourselves, we do it so that we can be of service to others. As we strengthen and nourish our bodies we become more able to give, more open to receive. And that makes sense to me. For just as each muscle, each breathe is connected to another, so am I connected to you, and you to me. We are breathing the same air after all.
I thought I was doing this challenge for myself, but as the days progress and I allow myself deeper into the practice I realize that the way I treat myself is a reflection of the way I treat others. I choose to do yoga because it is a means of taking care of myself. And when I take care of myself, I have the compassion and the strength to take care of others.
